So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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