What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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