those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
