so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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