i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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