I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize