i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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