Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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