I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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