ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
