Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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