I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
