her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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