I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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