My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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