I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
