apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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