I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
