how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
