Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
