So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Randomize
