I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
