whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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