Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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