If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize