We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
