Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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