i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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