You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
