You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize