I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
