He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
