I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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