in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
