Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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