if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
