She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
