Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
