It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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