I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
