so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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