every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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