i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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