you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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