He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It was confusing and full of hummus
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have so many feelings about this burrito
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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