also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's just like the Real World with babies
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Randomize
