why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
