It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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