We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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