My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i love accidental penises.
time to smoke my breakfast
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
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