i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
