there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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