Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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