Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
