The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
A bitchslap is in order.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
