You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
