i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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