lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
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The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
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Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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