I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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